Goodbyes

(I wrote this on 7/12/08 and am just now getting around to posting it)


“I’ve always said that you don’t have to be crazy to be apart of this family but it sure does help.” – Grandpa

I hate saying goobye…especially to my family. If you have not met them you’ve missed out. Like Grandpa said they are all a little bit crazy but truly amazing and I love them. I know I will see them all again it’s just that I’m a little bit selfish and I’m sad that I’m going to miss out on the day to day changes that time brings. Pregnancies, weddings, new jobs, new friends, new loves, and losses are just a few of the things that time viciously takes away BUT as sad as that all sounds…it’s life.

ALL of my friends and family are supportive of this new journey I’m on. They know that I can’t stay here and do the 9-5 in the burbs. I pray that they come and visit me but in the mean time we will have to stay in touch through e-mail, Skype, and…you guessed, bloggs.

i...

i am: natural blond

i think: most people have no idea what is going on inside my head
i know: how to change a tire
i want: to know God more intimately 

i have: a plethora of t-shirts
i wish: growing up did not mean so much would change

i despise: those who tell me I can’t do something

i miss: always having messages on my answering machine
i feel: that someday the rhythm is gonna get me
i hear: a Gate Called Beautiful playing on my i-tunes
i smell: coconut lime verbena 

i crave: Muchas Gracia’s Mexican food and rice crispy treats 

i search: for a bargain 

i wonder: what the future holds
i regret: not being bolder
i love: time spent with friends

i ache: for adventure
i care: about the small things that effect my friends in big ways
i usually: drive too fast

i am not: the girl you take home to momma
i believe: a good laugh can heal the soul
i dance: when no one is looking
i sing: loudest in the car 

i cry: when my guard is down
i don't always: understand what is going on 

i write: to sort out my thoughts
i win: when I try hard

i never: read lips
i listen: best when the TV is off
i can usually be found: eating
 or taking a nap
i am scared: of missing out because I was too guarded

Observations on Newark, NJ airport

**last night I was stuck in the Newark airport...these are my thoughts**

• There seems to be a line at every woman’s bathroom…very problematic.

• Loved the waiter with a New Jersey accent and how he called me “doll”…this would secure him a 3$ tip (that and he looked just like Ami James)

• No free wi –fi …booo

• There seems to be an obvious distinction between the American tourist and the European tourist…mainly I don’t think Europeans wear flip-flops while traveling.

• Today I don’t feel like traveling alone

• NJ’s Seattle’s Best lacks frappachinos and any form of green tea. Customer service is poor as well and I can’t seem to find a lid to fit my drink…no offense Seattle’s Best but what is the deal with Jersey’s aversion to Starbucks.

• The man in the Indian Jones hat is creeping me out…and he most likely will be sitting next to me on the airplane.

those who have gone before us

I had the opportunity to go to Washington D.C. on Saturday. This city pays homage to those who have gone before us.
The monuments are built in such a way that you can’t help but find beauty and awe in them thus, putting the observer in the frame of mind that helps one honor those who have gone before us.

On Friday I saw a one woman play about one of the first American females to go to China and spend her entire life working to help the poor. She was surprisingly candid and spoke of the difficult time in living there and fighting the bureaucracy of the company that commissioned her to go.
While she was talking I realized that this woman has gone before me. She has broken down barriers and blazed a trail that I freely walk on.


Last night I went to a church service where they honored people who had retired from working overseas. Some of these people had served for 40 years in a foreign country. Some had lost a spouse or child during their time of service.

Again, during this time I realized “these people have gone before me” They have blazed new trails and open doors. They have helped pave a way for me.
One of the retirees in his testimony said, “God, has ordained every step” What a promise that is. As a Christian I take comfort in knowing that as I prepare to move over seas that God has prepared every step that I will take.
Thank you to those who have gone before me.

turning 31

For some reason I had a difficult time with turning 31.What is being 30 suppose to look like? Should I be acting different or looking different? After I turned 30 I assumed that one day I would have an appifany that would give me insight into this new stage in life called 30s. This did not happen and I was by no means overjoyed at the prospect of turning 31…that was until I received one of the best gifts ever.

For a while I have been asking my mom to tell me about my birthday…what was the day like, what do you remember, how did it impact you. Well, this year she finally sat down and wrote me. Here are a few excerpts from my mom’s birthday letter to me.

“Your birth was planned out as to time of year I wanted to have you, how far apart from your sister you were to be…we even knew you were a little girl beforehand”

“The time of the year you were born is one of my favorite, I loved and still do love early summer. Back then you could count on warm days and cool nights”

“I was 22 when I had you Jess, I had lost one child due to a genetic defect... Neither April or Mandy's birth was an easy birth and I had come to understand that when I decided to get pregnant with you, I knew I would never have any more children.

For me, both you and Mandy were literally gifts from God, both births being special for different reasons, you because you were the last child God was giving me.”

My mom’s words humbled me. I have been looking at this birthday all wrong. I was in a slump for turning older when my moms words reminded me that a birthday is to remember the gift of life. Thank you Mom for the letter it was truly the best gift.

Priceless

Breakfast Sampler at IHOP (Kirk paid for it)

Bowling with friends (Sylbies paid for it)

Starbucks afterwards (Dodsons paid for it)

Spending the day with friends on your birthday… priceless

thus is life

Time freaks me out just a little. I am often amazed at how quickly it goes by.
It was just a year ago that I was up in Rea’s apartment watching the star light parade. For those of you non-Portlanders this is a parade that kicks off the Portland Rose festival. It is truly the epitome of Portland. It is full of strange, eclectic, and “green” people. I love huddling around the windows with my friends and family watching the parade pass us by in the cool Portland summer air.
This event marks one of many traditions that my Portland friends and I had. I hate that I’m going to miss out on these events but thus is life…(sigh)